Friday, June 16, 2006

Dear Britney Spears...

Dear Brit,


Before I saw your interview with Matt Lauer last night, I was having one of those days when I was feeling overwhelmed with wedding crap, hating my new summer highlights and agonizing over the fact that the scale had *still* not quite moved down below that number I really want it to despite my early morn workout sessions.

I'm guessing you probably were just in the midst of a nice game of paddy-cake with little K-Fed Jr. or vacuuming the house (as you claim you LOVE to do) when Matt Lauer unexpectedly showed up on your doorstep with a camera crew. You must have been surprised to see the whole Dateline brigade, but that would explain why your hair extensions looked as if they had been brushed with a rake and your outfit screamed Salvation Army Dollar Sale. The wad of gum in your mouth was unexpected and the loud smacking noises were perhaps a bit [finger quote] "much [end finger quote] but, thankfully, I was easily distracted by your ginormous bossum cascading out of your ill-fitting top and that clump of mascara lodged on your right eye. The purple, glittery cutex nail polish was divine!

Anyway, I hope the paparazzi leaves you the heck alone soon, because clearly you are not giving them ANYTHING to take note of (sure we all drive on dangerous highway roads with infants in our lap! nothin' to see there!) So, thanks again. For one glorious hour I felt like the most pulled together, fashion savvy, well spoken hottie on the planet.

MWAH! Kisses to K-Fed and the sunshine gang.


bee said...

she is such a debacle that i really do feel sorry for her. she has a stylist and publicist and hair person and make-up person and they let her go on air like that? and i thought that was a clump of those individual eyelashes on her right eye.

girleedenver said...

Thanks for the laugh and for saying exactly what I was thinking. I only caught a glimpse of it and thought geez girl do your pr peeps even like you? I think she has definetely lost it in a Elvis sort of way.

angie b. said...

hilarious post! i definitely felt more polished than ever when i went to work after seeing all the gum smacking on the Today Show preview!

joy said...

great post! i'm laughing out loud!

SpillToJill said...


The Great Eyeliner Hunt begins....I've talked with Blogdorf Goodman about it - and she is writing an entry about this also....take a look at if you want to participate:)

claudine hellmuth said...

Word on the street is Brit INSISTED on doing her own hair and makeup (yikes) - and when the NBC camera crews showed up – they thought the days were mixed up – because of Brit’s appearance and she had NO publicists, stylists, etc there.