THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
Before I saw your interview with Matt Lauer last night, I was having one of those days when I was feeling overwhelmed with wedding crap, hating my new summer highlights and agonizing over the fact that the scale had *still* not quite moved down below that number I really want it to despite my early morn workout sessions.
I'm guessing you probably were just in the midst of a nice game of paddy-cake with little K-Fed Jr. or vacuuming the house (as you claim you LOVE to do) when Matt Lauer unexpectedly showed up on your doorstep with a camera crew. You must have been surprised to see the whole Dateline brigade, but that would explain why your hair extensions looked as if they had been brushed with a rake and your outfit screamed Salvation Army Dollar Sale. The wad of gum in your mouth was unexpected and the loud smacking noises were perhaps a bit [finger quote] "much [end finger quote] but, thankfully, I was easily distracted by your ginormous bossum cascading out of your ill-fitting top and that clump of mascara lodged on your right eye. The purple, glittery cutex nail polish was divine!
Anyway, I hope the paparazzi leaves you the heck alone soon, because clearly you are not giving them ANYTHING to take note of (sure we all drive on dangerous highway roads with infants in our lap! nothin' to see there!) So, thanks again. For one glorious hour I felt like the most pulled together, fashion savvy, well spoken hottie on the planet.
MWAH! Kisses to K-Fed and the sunshine gang.